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06 Dec

"Once I gave my life to Christ and saw examples of Godly marriages and relationships, I wanted that." Says Ashley.Like other girls, Ashley also had the image of a physically fit alpha male embedded in her brain, but as she grew up, she realized the pointlessness of physical appearance.Christopher shrugged off the rude comments of his bullies, preferring instead to ignore them."I've always been a big guy all my life and of course had the comments and cruel jokes growing up so I kind of got used to it."Christopher trusts his confidence and refuses to allow the cruel comment to send him down a path of crippling depression, "I'm confident.It’s REALLY bad to make a girl feel like you’re objectifying her straight off the bat. We can’t go into any old store in the mall and find an outfit. So during a first conversation, don’t qualify why you’re talking to her. Sometimes booths aren’t the best ideas at a restaurant. This is loosely based on my own experiences as well as the experiences and suggestions of many girls I’ve talked to. You probably think that it’ll make fat girls more likely to contact you first, but honestly it’s hurting your cause more than anything. *(Note, saying things like ‘real women have curves’, ‘only dogs like bones’, ‘skinny girls are gross’ are horrible things to say. It may seem silly to mention, but it actually is important. There’s no special way you need to talk to them, no different procedure, here. Different fat girls have different experiences, but we’ve all experienced a lifetime of discrimination. Be aware that there’s a whole system of oppression working against her, and it’s hard sometimes. Different girls are at different stages of comfort and acceptance of their bodies (and frankly, that goes for all girls of all shapes and sizes! There’s never going to be a one-size-fits-all list, especially when talking about such a large group of people! ) But overall it just comes down to being sensitive, perceptive, and attentive. It makes you sound like all you care about is our bodies, that’s the most important part to you. You are more than welcome to have your preferences, but putting down other body types or other people’s preferences is NOT okay. ) Understand that some things are a little tougher for us.

By refusing to collapse and become victimized by the cruel remarks of the internet, Christopher has shown that he indeed deserved the love and support of Ashley.You don’t have to state that you’re attracted to larger bodies. You talking to a fat girl, showing interest, and that says all we need to know! So if you see a fat chick you’re interested in, try to find some common ground and base conversation starters on that. There are probably things you haven’t thought about that she might be embarrassed about. You wouldn’t message a thin girl and say ‘I think you’re hot, I’m really attracted to skinny girls’, would you? It’s important to communicate these things and make her feel that she has a safe space to express these feelings. (I hope not.) I don’t want to speak for all fat chicks, but we’re looking for something pretty specific. If you don’t think there are guys out there who like fat girls, you are the fat girlfriend. Be aware that sizeism is completely real, and don’t invalidate her experiences.